I shouldn’t be spared
Who am I? Who am I attempting to be?
Not myself, anyone but myself..
Living in a nightmare to cover the truth,
Making myself the undisclosed,
A strong pretence concealing the misery.
Empty, but beyond the point of emptiness,
Full to a ridge with fake confidence,,
A guard that will never be wrecked,
Since I broke quite a while back.
I’m harming yet don’t tell anybody.
Nobody has to know.
Try not to appear or you’ve fizzled.
Always okay, always fine, always on show..
The show must go on.
It will never stop.
The show must not go on,
In any case, I realise it will.
I give up. I give up giving up.
I shouldn’t be spared,